The First Year of a Family

The goals of a couple’s first year together are to “get used to” each other, establish a routine, and establish common rules for living together.

To do this, spouses need to answer simple questions:

How will we divide our household roles?

How will we manage finances? Will we share a budget or separate budgets?

Will we discuss and coordinate our expenses with each other?

Are we ready to become parents anytime soon? How many children do we want?

How do we see balancing parenthood and self-actualization?

For example, you can start by writing down household chores. You can make two lists. The first – what he likes to do around the house for each spouse. The second – what he does not like to do. This exercise will give you an idea of what each spouse would like to do.

If you are left with lists of household chores that neither party likes to do, you need to find a compromise and agree on how you will divide these responsibilities amongst yourselves. Perhaps, if your household budget allows, you will simply hire a housekeeper.

When preparing for future parenthood, it is important for spouses to discuss their parenting experiences, what they would not want to repeat with their children.

For example, you could ask each other: How do you see the maternal and paternal roles? What are your expectations of me as a future parent?

The first year of being together is a preparation for the future growth of the family, so it is very important during this period to properly enter the circle of relatives of the other half and build strong relationships with them.

This means that events like visiting parents, creating family rituals and traveling together as a family become the foundation for the future.

You can recreate the genealogical tree of your new family and plan to get to know your other half’s family places to better understand his or her world.

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