First child and keeping the family together

This stage is defined by the appearance of the first child in the family. Most often, all the unresolved issues at the first stage arise at the second stage of the relationship. It is not easy for many families.To move from a dyadic to a triadic relationship with a new family member, it’s important for the couple to review their commitments to each other and their schedule so that both can devote time to the child.

You can use the rule of thirds. One-third of the time is joint family time. A second third of the time is each spouse’s personal space on their own, outside the family. And another third is inactivity time, when spouses devote time to each other as a couple in love. This principle of organizing time helps to hold the balance of life, learning to be here and now in the flow of life. You can start by making such a list for each of the thirds.

If there is not yet a child in the family, it is important to create new joint endeavors to strengthen the relationship at this stage. For example, it could be a joint project like building a house or starting a family business. This will create new common interests and goals that are so important to the development of the family.

At this stage of the relationship, you can also conduct a satisfaction audit of the four basic needs that need to be met in the relationship: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

To do this, make four lists (each corresponding to one need) and describe what each need means to you and how much it is manifested in your relationship. Then discuss the results with each other.

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